Marketwatch, a WSJ web site, has sunk to the lowest awful denominator in headline writing. The formula seems to be "5 ways/secrets/moves BLANK is playing EVENT now" OR "How a bull/bear/trader is reacting to EVENT". The key is to motivate pure speculation based on how other speculators are speculating right now.
Here are a couple of examples:
How one superbull would trade the market open
5 money moves a euro realist is making now
5 money moves a prudent speculator is making now
Prudent?! speculator??.
Money moves 5 doomsayers are making now
Did you catch how they tricked you there? This time, it wasn't 5 moves, it was 5 doomsayers. These people are wizards with words!
5 money moves a cautious capitalist is making now
The financial media, hand maidens to the financial industry, paid for by the financial industry, doesn't care whether you are a superbull, a doomsayer, a cautious capitalist, or a prudent speculator. They just want you to churn your money through the grinder to get their vig. Most of their headlines read like this:
SPECULATE! SPECULATE! SPECULATE NOW!
Only in the greatest country in the world.
Yes! Genius!
ReplyDeleteHeadline Template Secrets Exposed!
Hahaha!
Stagflationary Mark,
ReplyDeleteThe formula is so stupid it hurts, yet I see it almost every day on Marketwatch. Here a new one this morning:
10 things investors should do before Wall St. reopens
Quick! Speculate for the market opens! Too funny.
I am glad that it's always just 5 or 10 things. Its good that by lucky coincidence it's exactly the number of finger on my hand or both my hands, maybe 20 would be ok as well if I included my toes.
ReplyDeleteBut what would we do with the following article:
'94367 things to consider when investing in APPL right now'
Tim,
ReplyDeleteYou are right, an odd number would just confuse potential speculators. The hook needs to be simple, and there can be no consideration. Gotta stick to action words.
Your link to "10 things investors should do before Wall St. reopens" appears to be broken. Have no fear though. I think I have figured it out.
ReplyDelete1. Breathe
2. Sleep
3. Exercise
4. Hydrate
5. Potty
6. Shower
7. Eat
8. Floss
9. Brush Teeth
10. Dress
I nailed it. Right? It's really just common sense if you think about it, lol.
Stagflationary Mark,
DeleteWeird, the link seems to be working for me. Somewhere in that list should be "Invest all money in stocks" but I am not sure which step.
The link redirects me back to your post. All the other links work fine (including the one I posted in the comments).
DeleteNot sure what the problem is. The HTML looks OK. Here it is in plain text:
Deletehttp://www.marketwatch.com/story/how-one-superbull-would-trade-the-market-open-2012-10-30
Your "How one superbull would trade the market open" link works fine for me too.
DeleteIt is your "10 things investors should do before Wall St. reopens" link within the comments that is broken for me.
Doh!
DeleteHere is the fixed link, it is broken in the original comment as you stated.
Before placing a trade, set a dollar amount or percentage you are comfortable losing.
DeleteThis sentence can be reused in another article.
10 Things Gamblers Should Do Before the Casino Opens
Watch out for volatility spikes.
DeleteThat could also be restated as "Watch out for the green 0 and 00 on the wheel". What are you supposed to do if "volatility spikes"? Close your trade at a loss, let it ride, and how much of a loss is a spike? I don't see the answer in the other 9 things.
There is actually good advice at the end of the article that nullifies all the previous suggestions...
DeleteIf you don’t know where the markets are heading, Frederick said, the best trade to make may be no trade at all.
Just make no trade at all.
I have found that avoiding the green 0 and 00 on the wheel is a fantastic strategy. It can, at times, be difficult to implement though.
DeleteFor example, the casino staff gets really testy if you use your hands to prevent it. ;)
'94367 things to consider when investing in APPL right now'
ReplyDeleteI'd start with...
1. Concise Encyclopedia of Science and Technology
2. The New York Public Library Desk Reference
3. The Complete Photo Guide to Home Repair
4. An Atlas of Functions
5. Handbook of Applied Mathematics for Engineers and Scientists
6. Encyclopedia of Physics
7. Numerical Recipes in C
8. An Introduction to Differential Equations
9. The Cambridge Atlas of Astronomy
10. Chapman Piloting: Seamanship and Small Boat Handling
There would be a test afterwards just to make sure investors absorbed the material of all 94,367 books of course. Don't want anyone investing without being fully informed! Hahaha! ;)