Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Twitter Fritter v.8

Twitter, as a business, continues to disappoint, which is not disappointing to me since I have called them out on their stock vomit fraud from the beginning. Twitter loves to spend money extravagantly, but they can't figure out how to make money. The only way they can fund their glittering unicorn lifestyle is to continue to issue millions of shares of stock at decreasing prices. Is this a long term business model?

Let's look at some juicy numbers starting with GAAP net earnings since they went public. For the most recent quarter, another $132 million LOSS.



Some fundamentals:
1/8/2013 - twitter IPO stock price $41.65
1/3/2014 - twitter high stock price $69.00
1/13/2016 - twitter closing stock price $18.69

Twitter stock change from IPO price: -55%
Twitter stock change from high: -72%

Dividend: 0.00
EPS: -0.86

All this financial rot is hard to find on their glossy web site, but they are proud to have offices in 35 international cities! See, you need all those offices to send small messages and photos around. Duh. How do they stay in business burning cash with a flamethrower? Easy, issue more worthless stock!! Eyeballing, it looks like they issued about 35 million new shares in 2015. Anyone want some hot dotcom stock? Twitter will sell it you!! HaHaHAHAhaHa.

Posted by tekewin at 15:51

6 comments:

  1. Stagflationary MarkJanuary 13, 2016 at 5:36 PM

    Twitter's One Hope ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stagflationary MarkJanuary 13, 2016 at 5:43 PM

    That was supposed to be a link to a "turd polish" picture. Seems broken though, so perhaps there is even less hope than I first thought! Hahaha! Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tekewinJanuary 13, 2016 at 8:22 PM

      Mark,

      Turd polish is what they use to report their non-GAAP numbers.

      Delete
    2. Stagflationary MarkJanuary 13, 2016 at 10:15 PM

      Based on the performance of the overall stock market so far this year, there seems to be a turd polish expiration date that is currently in play.

      Note to self: Stay the course. Do not panic. Do not sell stocks.

      I feel pretty good about my plan. Cannot sell what I do not own. Therefore, cannot panic. Welcome to the turd polish economy! ;)

      Delete
    3. tekewinJanuary 14, 2016 at 5:36 AM

      Stagflationary Mark,

      I am in the same predicament. Nothing to sell or ride out except my bond ladder. Will another coat of turd polish make things right? Where's Janet?

      Delete
    4. Stagflationary MarkJanuary 14, 2016 at 6:59 AM

      Jane[t]'s Addiction: Mountain [of Speculation] Song

      [Twitter's] Comin' down the mountain, one of many children...

      Delete

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